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Just as you need to abandon that prison of wanting to act like ‘you’, it is also equally important that you abandon the concern for what others might think of you. This is something that dictates how many of us think and act and it can be a big issue when it comes to embracing our truest selves and our truest impulse.

The other day I was doing some filming for a client and the video I had to create involved jumping in a river barefoot. As I did this, people couldn’t help but stare and I felt an intense sense of pres-sure: people did not like that I was acting strangely or that I was defying convention. It wasn’t amusing to them.

But this led me to think: why should they feel that way? For what reason do they have to know and understand what I’m doing? Why shouldn’t I be able to do something that they don’t under-stand, free from judgmental stares?
This is a big problem with the way that our society works and it’s something we should aim to fix: people should be able to act as they feel in the moment and as they want, not feel dictated to by others.

If you can let go of what other people think, then you will be freer to act the way that you truly want to and believe it or not, this is a huge advantage in most social situations. Not in the example I just described of course, but if you are trying to impress a date or if you’re trying to get a job, then not worrying about what others think will make you far more attractive.

Why? Because this lack of concern for your own reputation suggests that you aren’t trying to impress other people. And as soon as you stop trying to impress other people, this sends the message that you don’t need to impress them. This in turn makes them ask what it is that makes you so confident. Why are you so sure of yourself that you feel no natural pressure to impress? The assumed answer is that there must be something special or impressive about you that makes you the person that other people should be trying to impress.

When you act truly naturally and let go of your ‘inner Woody Allen’, this is when you become socially smooth, charismatic and charming.